Pain of Vengeance

The blood orange light cast thin long shadows upon the ground and softly glowed upon her face as the sun lifted above the land. The cold dark night with the scent of night blooming jasmine had finally passed, leaving her weak and worn. The warmth of the new day began to fill her veins with strength that would allow her to continue on her journey.

Visions of the days before flashed through her mind creating ill sensations in the pit of her stomach. With a tight squeeze of her eyelids she took a deep breath and cried allowed to an unknown God for his guidance, protection, and power. As the anger began to swell in her gut, indignation and hate quickly replaced fear. Seeking justice not for herself but for her beautiful younger sister, kindhearted father and strong willed mother. She gracefully rose to her feet and fixed her eyes on the long, steep and winding road ahead.

Loyalty and trust was the cornerstone her family had built their lives around. On the soft day when the gentle mist obscured the majesty of the landscape and the beautiful stranger with sad brown eyes, rode into their lives upon a majestic black horse, never would they have thought the evil this man would cast upon them.

With resolution in her heart and trembling of hands she pressed her foot firm to the ground and moved forward. Vengeance was not what she sought, or so she told herself. With fathers words playing over and over in her mind she knew there would have been no place for wrath.

Doubt began to flood her thoughts as she approached him. Fist clenched with fear, anger, and pain she knew this was the moment of truth...

The Question

Todd’s voice trembled. The lump in his throat grew larger as he smiled outwardly and made a small joke about the couple sitting the next table over. Any moment now, he was waiting for Leah to question him, ask him what was the matter, or somehow otherwise detect what he was up to. He could sense the sweat in his palms forming and feverishly attempted to keep them dry by folding his arms tightly underneath him. There they were safe. He tried desperately not to think about it, after all, he had rehearsed what he was to say a million times…but, how would she react? It didn’t matter. Regardless of how she responded, he had to say his peace, no matter what. But, who was he fooling? They had spoken about this a million times before, so now why at the moment of truth was he panicking?
He moved his arm slowly and brushed his shirt pocket with his hand. The ring was still there. The perfect, exact, precise ring that was simply all she wanted. Of course, her younger sister had helped him out with that small detail, though everything else was his doing. The weekend trip to Paris. The quaint little restaurant which made her so happy. Even the time of year she liked…a little chilly for him, though she thrived in this weather and was in such a wonderful mood. Currently, she was chatting away about some of her family matters…he was only half paying attention, and since he was a man, it meant that he wasn’t listening at all. She could usually detect what he was thinking seemingly without any effort and it didn’t matter how hard he tried to keep it to himself. Why was she not suspicious of him today? Was it because of the amazing trip they were on? Was it the serenity of the surroundings? Did she secretly suspect, but was pretending not to notice him trembling in his seat? Did her sister give it away? That was it! He should never have trusted her sister, she always blabbed her mouth! I can’t believe her…
Stop it! He had to stop thinking about this. He had to stop torturing himself and just tell her. He wanted to wait for the perfect moment, the moment that they would both say something and there would be that special connection they would so often share. The moment when they looked into each others eyes and understood exactly what the other was thinking and feeling and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were meant to spend the rest of their lives together. But, when was that moment? Would it come on demand? Was it necessary now? Would they remember in the years to come, or would that be forgotten, and simply the memory of this gorgeous place in beautiful company and the proposal? Why did he worry about such things? They were in love, that was the most important thing!
He recalled the first time he had met her, that fateful day where nothing had gone right and the last thing he imagined happening was meeting the love of his life. He laughed inwardly as he remembered how disheveled and distraught she was, trying desperately to keep her niece in line. Children were not her strong point, or so she said, but he knew it was simply because she tried so hard. He knew someday when they had children of their own, she would be an amazing mother…not because it came natural to her, but because of her large and all-encompassing heart. She would work tirelessly for them, doing all she could in her power to be the perfect mother, and would not stop until she had done everything right. Even if it meant tremendous sacrifices, she would do the best she could…and then some. And that was simply one of the hundreds of reasons he was madly in love with her.
Ah yes, love. How he had fought that! The first time she told him that she loved him had scared him to the core. He most have looked such the fool standing there with his mouth open, unable to reply. It didn’t seem to bother her, she simply hugged him tightly. But, inside, his stomach churned and he ached with desire, yet consumed with fear. Did he love her? Was this what he had always been waiting for? Could he love her the way she loved him? On an on his mind went that evening, the way it was going on now. Yet, only a few days after, he realized that he was fooling no one, if only himself. Yes, he truly loved her and the words meant nothing because he would lay down and die for this woman! He could never stop thinking about her and missed her terribly when he simply thought about her leaving. Love was a beautiful and terrifying feeling. He was afraid to lose something that had become so dear to him. Yet, it was folly to let such fear stop him from spending every minute of his life that he possibly could with this woman…this woman who had been specifically made just for him.
Forget love…now he was to ask her to be his wife! To be by his side forever and never again kiss another man or whisper sweet nothings into someone else’s ears. She was to be his and his alone. That is, of course, if she said yes…
And why wouldn’t she? There was that one time where they had actually fought over her Father’s words , though now it just seemed so silly. They had grown so much together and discovered how to communicate better. They had learned how to tell each other what they felt and had the faith that the other would care and do everything in their power to come to an agreement. Would they fight about such things now? Of course, not…but…marriage is different. Everyday together, every moment, every experience…
Stop it! You love her! None of your fabricated fears are going to stop you from doing this, so stop thinking and just do it! He focused in on her adorable face and smiled broadly, meanwhile his heart began beating ever harder in his chest.
“What’s the matter, Todd? Have you even been listening to what I’ve been saying?” Leah’s expression was playful, though a little concerned.
He blinked rapidly and stared in horror, realizing he didn’t even have the slightest clue. “Of course, I have…” and he just knew he had to tell her. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He loved her so much and his heart and mind were all in a whirlwind. He swallowed quickly, breathing in her scent…yes, yes, she was worth it. He loved her more than anything and this was their moment…
He leaned in closely and gave her a tender kiss on the cheek. “Actually, my dear, there is something on my mind that I want to ask you.”